Dec 21, 2014

Today I live

Actualy, I am very funny guy. My family harbours that kind of grumpy humour for ages. And I make jokes all the time.But I can't show it here, because what I show here is my fear.It is venting.
Yesterday I earned enough to cover the expences, food and coffee.It is rare,but it happened. Every day that I don't go in the minus makes me releived and hopefull.
I don't want to think what will happen in 2015. Those kinds of thinkings prevent me for sleeping for hours.What I learned during the war is to eat and sleep when you can. Exhausted man will lose the battle.

Dec 17, 2014

Estates of the realm

  What we have is the ultimate feudalism. All rules of good old feudalism are here, wrapped in juicy and sweet package, so that it’s easy to swallow. Basic human rights are pushed to the side, while love for gold becomes the new religion.
In good old feudalism the rule number one was to keep citizens uneducated and make them think they’re stupid. Nobody prevents you now to go to the university these days, if you can pay for it, knowing that even when you finish it – it doesn’t mean you’ll get a proper job.
So you just drag on through the high school, being bombarded by “icons” like Kardashians or Justin Bieber. When you idolize something insignificant, even your biggest achievement can be only that – insignificant.
Or you can go to war and lose your sanity or limbs for the benefit of Mister Kite.
There are all sorts of freedom. There is a freedom to be elected. In US I saw some mighty fine and benevelont people running to become a president. They are treated like some endangered species:
they exist, yet nobody counts on them.
There is a freedom of speech. Whatever you say will be drowned in 99,999999999 % of nonsense that other people say.
We are zobies, trained to blame ourselves or make some childish conspiracy theories. We are trained to look for more miserable jobs, more loans ; instead of fighting for our rights.
And even when people rebel, it is easy to surpress it, because they don’t have a clue what they’re fighting for.
“I feel bad – here’s a pill – you will feel better – get a loan – buy some chips – go pay bills “
Good old slavemasters needed to provide shelter and food for their slaves. New masters don’t have to.

They just need you to pay the bills. And find a way.
My dear medicre people, your mouth is my grave.

Dec 4, 2014

Silent Whisper

Before long  field of tall grass, with wild moon overhead. A heart that tramples through the moonlight, while thousands of crickets make you smile. You do not know what is on the end of the field in the forest and  when gentle and warm rain will stop. Just dreaming  about lips that will kiss you and eyes that will love you.
You are hungry for the world  and the world is hungry for you. Uncertainty is sweet like blood.
I'll never be young again.

Dec 2, 2014


I refuse to be jooly good boy. There is pretty thick line between being benevolent and being an idiot. I prefer to be mean and sarcastic. That actualy prevents people from doing pathetic things. Just look at the bloody facebook ! So many times I wanted to comment "oh boy, you must be very retarded ", but I already lost many "facebook friends" by commenting.